Understanding the TEAM COMPOSITION

The biggest mistake I see newbies make is picking one or two champions and always playing them. These are the people you see get into a queue and lock in within the first five seconds. My favorite games are those in which I see someone decide “I’m going Ashe, I’m taking the middle, and anyone who has a problem with it can blow me.” Don’t be that guy; I don’t want to have to come to your house and rip your throat out. As much as you may love playing Warwick in a game with 4 other junglers, if your team needs a tank, you should play a tank (remember, the rest of your team sucks too much to do it).

Full Tank

As a tank, when the fight is starting, you get to be the first one to run in (with fingers crossed that you don’t die instantly). You also get to be the last one to leave when retreating (you’re just so lucky, getting to be in all the safe positions). But best of all, if you play a tank, you too can know the joy of being completely dependant on items without getting any signifigant number of player kills! The most important thing to remember is that you don’t do a lot of damage; damage is highly overrated (real men don’t need to do damage). Your first priority is to protect the squishie babies on your team. Do this well, and you will always win.

Off Tank
As an off-tank, you’ll either go in right before the tank or right after the tank depending on your team if your team knows how to initiate. If the opposite team is smart, you will most likely know the joy that is being targeted by everyone instantaneously. As for your role, you should always be the person going for the squishiest enemy. A successful off tank will scare the shit out of them, and make them run for their mommies.

Carry
I have never seen a term in any game that is more misused than “carry” in League of Legends. This is unfortunate because a well played carry is key to victory. So let me be completely clear here: a carry is a champion who focuses on increasing their auto-attack damage as much as possible. You aren’t some loser who relies on cooldowns to kill things. You are the king of dealing damage (a good carry will try to get his team to treat him like royalty). Not only do you deal more damage than all the other noobs on your team, you can sustain it for as long as the fight lasts. Towers cower at the mention of your name. A few examples of this role are Ashe, Master Yi, and Tryndamere.

Mages are the magic version of the carry. They do lots of damage through their abilities. You aren’t some loser who has to use auto attacks to do damage over time. As a mage, you put out burst damage to kill the enemy before they even know what hit them. Since you rely on your abilities, your job is to get in, blow all your cooldowns, and get out. Because mages focus so much on their abilities, each one plays very differently. Eve has to manage stealth, Anivia has to manage her wall (as well as dealing with the menal stresses of being a giant damn bird), Annie has to manage her pyromania, and Ryze… well… just don’t play Ryze, ok? Mages excel by stacking magic penetration and lots of ability power. If the enemy is stacking magic resist, chances are you’re doing your job well. Other magi you need to know are Kogmaw, Fiddlesticks, and Vladimir.

Support
Support is the most varied type of champion. Your teammates may be idiots, but if you play a support champ well, they can be powerful tools. Support focuses on buffing your allies, and annoying your enemies. Some have heals, some have auras, some have CC. Play a support, and you’re pretty much like Santa Claus. You make your team smile and be glad that you’re on their side. You bring joy to all the little boys and girls all around the world. Who hasn’t been jungling and not doing as well as they should when you suddenly get healed by Soraka? It’s those kinds of moments that make support so great to have. A few examples of support champions are Soraka, Morgana, and Blitzcrank